I like to use bullets in my response to help organize my thoughts, so bear with me lol:
1. It is black women like YOU who will set the new standards for black girls coming after you. By you having enough common sense to leave that thug and recognizing the difference between a MAN treating you well and a man-child treating you like dirt makes puts you ahead of a lot of black women, sad as that is to admit. Thank yourself everyday for putting YOU first which has allowed great people into your life (ex: your new guy).
2. Kind guys LOVE to solve the problems of the women they care about.
ALL you have to say to him is, “I have a problem. Can you help me solve it?” He will be all ears. Remember, you are the woman in this budding relationship and he is the MAN, so don’t you dare walk around with all of this on your shoulders when it is clearly not your fault.
3. Tell him what the ex is doing (its okay to cry) and ask for his advice. Men fight men. women should NEVER fight men. Even if he can’t get the fool to stop spreading lies about you, you at least have another person in your corner. Do NOT be apologetic when you explain the situation. it is NOT your fault.
4. It is obvious you still need to heal from the trauma (that’s what any professional would call it) that you have suffered. If you cannot afford counseling or can’t seek and free ones, I would make it my mission to surround myself with as much positivity as I can. I’m serious.
Music: classical, electronic, gospel, jazz, bluegrass (anything uplifting…and NO i do not consider hiphop or rap uplifting)
Food: the types of foods I eat affect my mood so I make sure I try to get in as many fruits, veggies, and lean meats as I can. take your time with this.
People: point blank, stop hanging around people who bring you down. As much as you can, surround yourself with people who are positive and uplifting. You know who is and isn’t positive. Limit ad or eliminate your time with negative people. this is very important.
Media: leave the gossip rags and trash tv alone. please please please check out these sites especially for black women w/ common sense. These will keep you plenty busy lol:
I hope this reply helped. Please let me know how I can help you further and how it goes with your new guy.
BWS#black women #bwwm #interracial dating #dating advice #black girls
The bottom line is this:
-there are SO many wm who are attracted to bw and many of them believe bw aren’t interested in them….which we know is not true
-you MUST get to a point in your life where the opinions of others don’t matter to you. if you keep putting a strangers needs first, you will ALWAYS end up unhappy and unfulfilled
-the next time you see a wm who you’re attracted to, smile and say hi. it really is that simple. don’t make these interactions so complicated. *relax*
-i would suggest befriending some non-bm so that you are more comfortable hanging out with wm. they are just like everyone else, just like bw are like everyone else.
-no more excuses. If you want something in THIS life, you need to have faith in yourself and go for it. You can do it.
Good Luck!!#bwwm #interracial dating #South Africa #black girls #white guys #dating advice
I HIGHLY doubt he is the only guy who has ever found you attractive nor will he be the last :)
That is why I harped on having SELF-RESPECT. Guys will show you attention but it is up to YOU to weed out the losers. The fool in question, IMO, should be kicked to the curb.
We have to get rid of the weeds in order to make room for the flowers, right? Well if you are getting distracted with ONE loser, that leaves you no time to get active, focus on improving yourself, which would create an opportunity for you to meet that special guy.
Look, I can’t make you do anything. If you want to continue entertaining a guy who has VERY CLEARLY communicated to you that he sees you as a semen dumpster, then do you. IF I WERE YOU, I would heed some if not all of the advice I gave you in the previous post. Yes, i am being blunt right now. Why? Because there are TOO MANY girls who would give in to the demands of a guy like this an end up emotionally hurt, raped, abused, pregnant, or killed. I don’t take these things lightly.
You are beautiful, you are smart, you are friendly, you are inquisitiveness and the right guy will appreciate all of the wonderful qualities you possess. The right guy will not pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do. You have to believe that :)
Take care sweetie. I’m here if you need me <3 xoxo#askbws #sex #black girls #black women #interracial dating
As you know, I don’t mince words or beat around the bush, so here are MY thoughts.
1. STOP TALKING TO HIM!!!!!!
2. Why would you continue to talk to a fool who:
a. texts you for booty calls
b. has NO interest in getting to know you
c. VERBALLY ATTACKS you for declining his advances
WHY WOULD YOU STILL STAY IN CONTACT WITH SAID FOOL???
Seriously hun, cease all communication with him. When you have self-respect and love yourself, you NEVER let other people use and abuse you like that.
If you are serious about your self-preservation, end all communication with him…if he continues to harass you, let him know you will talk your phone to the proper authorities (school admin, the police, parents, etc) and they can deal with him.
After you have cut off all contact with him, I would start focuing on YOURSELF and what makes you happy. Do you have a hobby? Is there an activity that you have always wanted to try? Are you planning on going to college or community college? Have you started planning for that?? Are there any after-school clubs/orgs that you might be interested in?
The point is you should be BUSY enjoying life and doing things that make YOU happy, not spending precious time on folks who do not uplift you.
If someone of something is NOT adding value to your life…CUT THEM OUT. You come FIRST….always :)
Good Luck hun!!! Let me know if you have any other questions!! xoxo#askbws #black girls #black women #sex #men